Stupid, cocksucking, ass licking, mother fucking pieces of shity garbage.
*breath* There now that feels better.
Now for the reason of my cussin' spree. Well facebook always has "gems" of wisdom to share. I've been thinking about killing my account for along long time, but I haven't. Problem is that there are a few people far away I'm still intrested in communicating with. Unfortunatly facebook has become the easiest way to do it. I remember ages ago when it was MSN messenger. Yah, not so much anymore.
So anyways this guy married to a friend of mine decided he would bash the suicidal. Yes, and his friends, cept one girl, and my apprent friend all jumped on bored. Apperently we do it for attention. I mean it's "not like it's that hard, eezy peezy," from one ass. And I quote. Also "Looking to place the blame on other people" right outta my supposed friends mouth.
EXCUSE ME?!?!?!?!?!?!
1- If you think killing yourself is easy, Mr. Asshole, please go and try it. I bet you, you couldn't do it. Now being able to do it is nothing you should strive for. None the less, I've sadly heard countless stories of people who tried to end it and failed. I AM ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE. I have been one of "those" people more then a few times, but the number stays with me.
2- Selfish? Hmmmm. See this is a case where the two worlds don't understand each other. Except one is too fucking stupid to see it another way. When someone gets to the point where they are ready to throw in the towel, to say fuck it and walk away, something is VERY wrong with that person. They are ill. If they hurt so much that death is the only way to find peace they need help. Not to have names tossed at them by jerks who don't get it. The reality of my suicide attempts/obbsessive thoughts about it, may not be and probably is not the same for everyone else. None the less they are there. Do I want those thoughts? NO. Do I have those thoughts anyways? YES. You see it's not something I control. Sometimes my brain short circuts and says "alright today is the last." I dunno if you've ever tried arguing with the voices in your head, you never usally win. So I think lack of compassion is more suited then selfish.
3- Placing the blame on other people. Really? That's what I'm trying to do? I wasn't aware I was blaming anyone for anything. What should I do? Yell at a science poster that markes the places in the brain where mine differ and made me this way? So if I kill myself I'm doing it to place blame on my brain or sicence? Or is it my gentics? Hey ya...gentics! I should go yell at my grandmothers grave...she gave me the genes. Then proceed to hunt down my great grandfathers' grave, since he gave those genes to her. Yah I'll piss on that one. *eye roll* Someone help me out here, cuz apperently I'm blaming someone but I'm really not sure who that is. But I LOVE when people tell me why I do things/think things. I had no idea there were so many fucking doctors out there.
Fucking ignorant whores. They don't know and will never know what it's like. In extreme cases of ignorance is about the only time I pull this one out. I hope each one of them who participated in bashing people with serious problems have children. And of those children I hope they all get atleast one child with a horrid disorder that short circuts their brain from time to time and they attempt suicide. Heh, I honestly hope some of them succed. Creul, yes. But sometimes that's what it takes.
I'm sick of people telling me why I do things. Although it is intresting to see what your "friends" really think when they have no idea such a problem affects someone they've claimed to care about. The best thing for me to do is to sever contact as much as possible. I don't have anything nice I want to say. In fact, I wanna say the meanest most hurtful things I can cook up. Whether I mean them or not, or whether they're even the truth or not. I'm out for blood, so I should probablly just keep my distance.
Although, it might be fun to let scary Amanda outta the cage again for awhile........It's okay. If suicide is such a selfish thing to do then they can just wait for my next psycotic episode. Last time I thought I was the Angel of Death. I'm serious you guys can ask my hubby. So as the Angel of Death it was my mission/duty to cleanse the world. Yah, I was sick. So how about next time I just come and pick every single one of them off. My inner Angel of Death thinks such intollerence and callousness towards you're fellow human beings justly calls for death.
And yes you judgemental whores, I don't just flip suicidal, I also flip homicidal.
P.S. Have your face ripped off by a grizzly you fuckers.
For the rest of you, bye byes.
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