Happee 28th Barfday

So this is a mini summary of yesterday's events. There is Astaroth the kitty I got for a present. There's a shrit I spent b'day money on. My chocolate cake made for me by Molly. And the wine...heh I drank a whole bottle!

I spent most of the day shopping or drinking, haha. Birthday success FTW!

After we left Molly's. J and I swung by RJ's, visited with him for a bit and then head off to the bar where we were suppose to meet Chris, Mac, and Lachlan. And we did. And I proceeded to get drunker. On top of my bottle of wine, I had a shot of Jag, a cherry whiskey paralzer, and 5 or 6 long island ice teas. WOW I never drink anymore so I was wasted...hahaha.

When I got home I regretted my actions. I puked and felt like my head was going to cave in. I instantly remembered why I rarely drink anymore. But this morning? Feeling fine. Alittle tired and a little dehydrated but other then that no evidence left from my bender.

All in all awesome birthday....and I think it will be a year until I seriously drink again :P

Lator Gators!

Shut up already, You're making us look bad!

So here is a picture of an adult with a rattle who is of course crying. Tears of blood! While it rains drops of blood! Muhahaha! No I'm kidding there is a point to all of this.

I belong to a few mental health support groups online and I have to say sometimes I get so pissed off with these people I just want to smack 'em. They cry, they whine, they complain. You never hear of them talking of bettering themselves. But this, this was inspired by a special post. Now I'm not usually one to discus other peoples business so I will leave the "sayer" and the group out of it.

Basically this particular Borderline statement, "
I want to be loved and accepted unconditionally. It seems like the theme of this thread. I'm tired of people telling me I have to give it to myself to get it. When they probably had loving and nurturing people raise them to get it. Thus is was self ingrained in them."

Really? You had it that bad? Guess what asshole. So did everyother person in that group. But you don't hear the majority of us whinning we're geared more towards recovery and acceptance. Our own recovery and acceptance, not sitting around like some sort of asshole waiting to be rescued like a damzel in distress. You DO have to do it for YOURSELF.

It just astounds me. How the hell do you expect to "get better" if you are taking zero resboncibiliy? I mean you and you alone have to do the work. There is no one to hold your hand through real life. So toughen the fuck up or shut the fuck up. You're making the rest of us look bad.

A much cheerier birthday post to come later!

I LOVE Astaroth!!!

This here is my birthday present Astaroth. He's all tired out from a long day of terrorizing the villiagers. My roomate found him for me. The people we got him from said they found him as a stray. Poor little guy. He's so skinny you can feel his pointy little bones. Just to stress how tiny he really is. See my foot in the pic...looks all huge don't it? Well in fact it fits a kids size 4 shoe. That's right kids!

Other then that today has been a weird day. During the middle of the day I got really panicy and scared. Jordan stayed home with me. Big thanx to his co-worker for covering for him. I just kept feeling progressivly worse as the hours went by so I popped a Clonazapam. Mmmmmm! That did that trick. Everything was zen once more.

Tommorrow is the big day. The big 28...wow I feel old. I don't really know what's in store. Someone is going to cook me something very tastey, and my mother-in-law is going to let me finally have all that fabulous make-up she let me pick out. I would venture a guess at a small gathering of drinking as well. I guess we'll see what tommorrow brings.

Lator Gators!

Mr. Skellington Asks You Out On A Date

So I have a couple moments to spare, I figured I'd share this little drawing. It's pretty simple, but Mr. Skellington is ooh so charming!

E is for effort

So we're kitten sitting for a few days. Seen above is Dora. She belongs to a friend of my roomates. I have to say I'm having alot of fun playing with her and such. I think the other 2 kitties are getting jealous. Haha, silly kitties.

Really I don't have much to say....other then I may get a kitty too! My roomie is looking into getting me one for my B'day! YAY!

Alien Pregnancy?

I believe this is a picture of where they take me. ET's "home" If you will.......damn aliens!

Ya ok for real. I woke up at about 2am with the most intense abdominal pain. This is about the 7th time I've had it happen to me so I finially went to the docotor. He gave me some muscle relaxents. They are awesome, my guts feel so much better. And they knocked me out! I really needed to catch up on my sleep.

Down side Dr was kind of a jerk. Just sort of rude and rash. He would only give me 5 sleeping pills, I got the number up to 7. According to him sleeping pills shouldn't be used long term. WOW. Really? Did you get that from your docotor book? Cause I am well aware of addiction factor. Since you are looking at my file on the computer you can SEE all the drugs I've been on. You can see there are more then you can count on both hands multiplied, and you will also see that I have taken sleeping pills for prolonged periods of time without addiction.

Bah whatever....I see Shrinky in June, he'll fix me up!

So in the end, it was just some horrific stomache cramps. I however, will remain vigiliant for the first little while. Ya know, in case I really am carring an alien baby. If so I"m naming it Zorg if it's a boy and Quallam if it's a girl. *wink*

Lator Gators!

A Reunion of sorts

My hubby and I just took a couple clonazapams I have left over from various perscriptions. It was fun. But shhhh! Don't tell my mom.

5 am...OCD....Swine Flu

So I drew this last night before I went to bed. It's called "Swine Flu: Originis." This I think how it really came to pass. Haha I love drawing, I can make whatever the hell I want!

The past few days I've been waking up at 5 am every morning. I'm really not sure why, it's this weird habit I've gotten into. Perhaps another look at sleeping pills is in order? I'd be okay with that. A sleeping pill is far from extreme medication.

And lastly...some head speak. I will admit that my hubby and I checked out A&E's show "Obssessed." We didn't watch the whole thing, and we were kind of weary to even look at it in the first place. The whole idea just seemed like a gong-show of sorts. But I'm glad we did. I think they handled the topic pretty respectfully. And the therapy sessions...acurate. That whole 1 -10 scale thing...the whole dileberatly putting yourself where you feel fearful. And yes Cognitive Behavioural Therapy actually works. I've done it myslef and can say I think it's one of the most successful treatments I've been a part of.

On a finishing thought on the topic I am looking forward to checking out next weeks episode. The have a woman on who seems to manifest the disorder the way I do. Bad thoughts. Thoughts of killing...and murder...and torture. These strange desires to do the unthinkable. Being obsessed with morbid ideas and fantasys. Not sure why the hell you have the needful feelings to do these things. Forced to grapple with the ideas and with the concept "what if I do that?" and "why the hell am I thinking this garbage?"

People don't really understand my OCD. They have a very narrow view of the term. To the vast majority it's all about numbers, counting, math, lists, etc. I don't really have those behaviours. I do have alittle quirk about walking on tilled floors, but most people don't even notice. And in fact, I rarely notice these days because it's been a habit since childhood. The clean list maker has a counter part who is equally OCD. The Hoarder. This is also where I sit. I am a apperingly messy person who seems to like to live in chaos. Ha, right actually I do. But to me it's not messy. I know where everything is...for the most part. If I don't then whatever, it's kicking around somewhere. I'll find it. I own 7 garbage bags full of shoes, some of which I've never worn. Haha that is OCD.

So ya just happy to see that they're showing other sides of the disorder. Because as with most metal illness they treat people differently. I find it interesting to see. Although I am in general intested in health and wellness. So ya, it's kind of up my ally.

Anyways enough for now. I'm starting to feel a rise of anger at a certain someone fairly random. I don't want to turn this post into a bitchfest ;)

Also check out My Farm - Around the World on DS. If you like games where you get to build and grow a project this ones for you. Lots of cute animals to boot!

Lator Gators!

Actually Excited And The Inane

Hey all! My birthday is comming up...I'm getting...Old. Yet inspite of this fact I'm actually looking forward to it this year. Whether I do something grandiose or not; I'm okay with it.

I spend enitirely too much time on my iPhone. Me and J must play monopoly again. Normally I hate that game because it takes to long, but with the app it's so much easier. No one is stuck with the crappy job of being the banker. A job I always use to end up with because I think my math skills are just a slight less tragic then my sisters. Not by much though!

I have been feeling very artistic lately. Disorders manifestation without drugs to inhibit their possibilities? Maybe? Scary to think that way though. Whenever your finding the benefits to such a thing you do have to wonder. Although things can't be entirely bad all the time. Things do have to have a good point to them. I suppose that's all I'm really saying. It's just I'm enjoying life so much with out the psyc meds that I am scared to give it up. I don't know what I'd do if it came down to a serious decison. Sanity vs Creativity. Honestly I'd rather be creative.

Anyways time for me to play some "My Farm - Around the World" on DS. I have a little green duck named Andy...he is very cute. I won't be selling him to become noms!

AliensVsMonsters

So this is how I think the movie should have been. Notice the Monster is winning. I'm less scared of monsters then I am Aliens!