And Sometimes It's Still Part Of Me

Life? What the hell does it even mean these days? Oxygen, food, sleep...ya know the basics. But lately that's all I've been getting by on. I've boughten some amazing shoes(for those who don't know it's a fetish), great new clothes and tons of neat make-up. All things I haven't purchased for myself in years. I suppose I'm trying to boost the outside in. If I can feel better about what's going on outside....If I can make that look pretty...maybe I can hide the ugly inside.

And trust me there is ugly inside. We all say it. You guys just don't quite understand my levels of wrath and hatered. To be honest I don't think I quite understand them. I just know they're there.

I just can't seem to connect to people or relate. It's like I have a force field that keeps people arms length from me. I don't know what to do about it anymore.

I have given up trying to make friends. I think I'm just one of those loner types you stumble across from time to time. But that's alright....I've never liked doing what everyone else is just cause they're doing it. If everyone is in black...you'll find me in hott pink. Ohh Yeah!

Some nice ladies at the make-up counter at Shoppers Drug Mart gave me a make over cuz I was sad. I have to say I love the greens they used....I would never think of that shade of green on my own.

Now to paint my nails Orange!

Lator Gators, thanx for sticking with me through the saddness!