I WANT TO PAINT IT BLACK!!! No colours anymore, I want them to turn black. I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes. I have to turn my head until my darkness goes. I look inside myself and see my heart is black."Ok so we had sing-a-long. For the musically retarded that is the Rolling Stones and their song "Paint it Black." If you've never heard of the Stones do so now or kill yourself you ignorant fuck :) I could go on why they rule, but I digress.
Paint it black is the theme of my life lately. I can't seem to find joy in much of anything. Everything is a trial, a test or a trick. Everyone and everything is out to get me. It's like you smoked some really bad oil and have become ridiculously paranoid, haha. But ya I just don't understand what's going on with me.
Mixed Episode? On one hand I'm spending money left right and center, I have spirts where I can stay up to 5am easy, my creativity is through the roof. Yet inspite of the manic symptoms, I still lack energy. I still loathe myself. I still cry for no reason. I still hate all things not kitty.
Maybe I have some sort of Anti social personality disorder they have yet to diagnois me with, haha. I actually heard about a group of borderlines who hate people, perhaps I'm one of them. Whatever the case, take no offense human. I won't hold that fact against you. I mean, hey, I'm one too. I just wish I was a kitty.
A spoiled house kitty!
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