I'm really not sure why this is a fail. I see it as a win. I'd "kill" to live on a street with such an awesome name. It would be great. Maybe it'd scare off some creditors? "Whoa, she lives on East Bucket Of Blood Street, maybe will just leave her alone for awhile." Anyways, enough. I vote Win!So I've managed to make it to the computer again. It's now been 2 weeks and 4 days since it got busted. It's been behaving pretty well actually. Most of my foot is back to a normal flesh tone colour. Haha, my toes still look pretty funky, there's some wierd gooey lump on the side of my foot, and some weird rainbow type discolouration along the line where the sole of your foot meets with the top part. Haha, "top part" whatever I didn't take A & P. I heard it was a bitch and went no thanx. Anyways, pain hasn't really been a factor at all. Yesterday it was angry, like super pissed. But that's the first time it hurt bad since when it happened and I can't possibly imagine it hurting that bad again, so I'm not worried about it. Just keep poping those extra strength Advils! It would have been nice to get some pain killers, though. Pain killers = pure awesome if you've never had the pleasure. Haha, sooo goood.
My weeks have become flooded with appointments. It's enough to drive ya crazy, heh. Tuesday I seen my pyschitrist, next day the physcologist. The week before, my mental health nurse. Haha, seriously enough trying to help me. I need a breather. :D But atleast it's going to slow down some what now. 3 of my medical people, I don't see till next year. YAY! I like 'em, don't get me wrong....but crutches and -40 windchill + ice + snow is evil. Funny at the same time though. With the exception of my psycologist, I have to see her every week. Those sessions are so bizzare.
I really don't know what to make of D. She's a nice girl, I think she really does want to help but I don't know if she's the right Doc for me. I've been seeing her since the end of October. We've missed 6 appointments already. 4 of them were her doing. That doesn't say much about her level of professionalism. And I got to be honest they reasons, fairly lame. I can understand having to cancel, it's happened with my GP tons of times over the years. Her kid gets sick or something, that's cool. Well not that her kid is sick, but for her to cancel on account of. I think that's a pretty good reason...I'm not impossible to work with. But seriously D has gotten me to the point where I've lost confidence in her. And her lack of experience is a concern, she makes me feel like somewhat of a guinea pig. I've never been to a pyscologist before D so I don't really know how they work. I know she asks me some dumb questions. Like to define or explain things that I have put in the simplest way possible. It's like she's always trying to play some head game with me. Maybe that's what they're suppose to do? Either way it's annoying as fuck. It's like every session we debate something and she never wins. I don't know why she still insists on this method, but she does. I guess it's a pain because I leave there with nothing new. She basically comes to "discover" things about me that I could have told her about day 1 when I walked in the door. I'm either too confussing for her to understand, or she's dumb. Whatever. *shrug*
And I suppose lastly as of Sunday I'm starting my 2nd mood stabalizer. See I'm already on one, but wierd things are going on in my head right now. It's odd. I've done this dance enough times to recognize my warning signs. Problem is wether it's the verge of Mania or Depression the warning signs are the same. And then I have the Borderline factor to add to the mix. I basically don't know what my brain has planned for me, but it's up to something. So, Dr M,(psychitrist) is putting me on a 2nd stabalizer in hopes we can catch it before we have a massive train derailment.
Do I like the fact that I have to take more pills? No, but that doesn't matter. I HAVE to take them. Therapy is very important, but alot of times you need to pair it up with the meds. So here we go Topamax...for the 4th time. Let's hope this round goes better. The last time I took this drug it made my kidney's bleed and gave me a seziure. Haha, oh the joys of pysc meds. So fingers and eyes crossed, that at a lower dosage it'll be enough to help limictal out but not try and kill me. Hahaha, that's what I'm hoping for anyways. Not dying is always a good thing, inspite of what my brain tells me from time to time. :P
Well I'm gonna end this ramble. It's really long. My ADHD hates it. But it's been awhile so that's the way it goes. Hopefully I'll be more mobile in alittle while! :)
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