Duality

I beleive everyone wears a mask in public sometimes. Some people more often then others, but I think we've all faked a good time here or there or something compairable. To be honest it doesn't usually bother me. I understand why we need to do it sometimes. I mean if your friend is trying on something that is ugly but she really really likes.....lie. Let her get it. It doesn't matter if YOU like it, you're not the one wearing it. See I don't understand crushing people for no real good reason, but now to ramble deeper into the point.

I think duality has been and probably will continue to be a big part of me. How can it not be. First I was born a Gemini, that's right the sign of the twins and the eternal child of the zodiac. Next up on the chopping block let's call in bi-polar disorder. I'm expecting everyone to understand the duality of bi-polar, I mean really. If you don't go fucking look it up cuz you're dumb. Then I'm also a borderline. If you know nothing about this one, that's okay. Borderline doesn't get alot of press....not much good press anyways. Most of the shit flying around there about us isn't even true. It's one of those disorders that'll rally villiagers with pitch forks and torches to chase you all over town to lynch ya, if you beleive anything that you haven't gotten from a credible sorce. The fact that they call it borderline though tells you there's a proverbial line drawn in the sand. I mean how can there be a borderline if it borders with nothing? So we're on the same page now.

Take it a step further. Long ago before I came to this fucking shit hole of a city I use to go by 2 screen names, depending on what kind of swing I was in. Some of you out there might remember the days of Bunny Star and Miss Hiss. They were in essence a representation of how I was feeling mentally at any given time I was signed into msn messenger.

If you found Bunny, things were good. Bunny is happy. Bunny likes everything and is fancinated by the world around her. She wants to experience as much as possible because she realizes we only get one life to live that we get to remember at each go around. Bunny is positive.

Now meet Miss Hiss. Miss Hiss aka Hissy is angry. Hissy is full of hate and wrath. Hissy would nuke the world in a second She too wants the vast human experience but often is too busy isolating in her sickness. Hissy is negative.

They are both Amanda. These 2 seemingly different people are one and the same living behind my hazel eyes just waiting to see which one will be called on to come out and play. While I lived in my old province I was frequently Bunny....here man I don't know if I've seen her this side of the border. To be fair though, I make no secrets to how much I hate this place and will leave once it is finacially do-able. Maybe then Bunny will be allowed to return.

Now here's the thing though, even with the duality they have the same standerds. If you make friends with Bunny, she won't turn on you when Hissy decides to come out instead. Hell, I met my husband under the Bunny handle, and I've pretty much been Hissy since. And the same goes for Hissy, she's not going to stab you in the back as soon as Bunny is back. The 2 are very much interchangable to an extent. If one persona tells you something, the other means it aswell. So there is a duality in me, but not to how I treat people.

If you happen to be one of those people who say one thing and then do another...that's not duality. That is the quality of being two-faced. I hate two-faced people. God it's like they think they're so fucking important that they're doing us some sort of favor by lieing through their teeth to our god-dammed faces. To those people, stick your reproductive organs in a blender, if your a chick take the pitcher off stupid, and then regardless of gender press "on" for about 30 seconds. Oh, I know it would take less time to prevent you from reproducing but I'd just like to know you suffered you fuckers :D

Lator Gators!!!

xoxoxoxo