So I haven't posted in awhile. I've just been too fucking depressed. I'm not going to get into the details, because they don't matter, but yesterday I was placed under "sucide watch." Yay, right? :P Anyways if you've never been under suicide watch or had to deal with someone who is, it's kind of a tricky thing. On one hand you have to keep an eye on said person, but you have to care enough not to treat the person like they're "nuts." Cause trust me that does tons to make us feel better. It's like "don't worry, you can't catch 'crazy' from a cough or anything." Mental health, still so covered in stigma and misunderstood.
But today I have a point, and it's about something along the samelines but not quite. See there are some hardcore religious zealots out there who will tell you that animals have no soul. Notice I'm not mentioning any one particualar religion as well you find religious crazies in any domination. But yet the animals. I have to ask myself, have these people ever owned a pet? And if the answer is yes, you actually beleive your varied stupid books to common sense? If people have souls....remember einstien thought we did, cuz "energy cannot cease to exist." And we are in essance kinetic energy. So doesn't that put animals under the same category? If human energy can't cease to exist, according to fucking Einstine, then why can animals just cease to exist. You know those religous books are crap, I'll stick with Einstine. He had the ability to think for himself and was an undisputed genius. And if you don't know who he is, please kick yourself in the face, or get a friend to do it, right now :) And if I spelt his name wrong and you wanna rag on the depressed suicidal girl for it, fuck yourself and get the hell off my page. Please let the door hit you in the face on the way out! :D
So I've been noticing the past few days, I've been low. Really fucking low, heh low enough to have to go to the ER and get the lovely "suicide watch" rating. So I've spent alot of time in bed lying down and sleeping as much as possible. Because I'll share a secret with you all, when it hurts really bad you won't be able to find me. I re-coil into isolation from the pain inside of me. It's some unhealthy coping mechinisim I developed many many years ago. So I try to sleep alot so I don't have to feel it. Heh, better then my old method of getting trashed everyday as in a self medicating way. But my kitten, Astaroth that crazy little thing, has been my biggest comfort next to Jordan. It's like I'll fall asleep, wake up to move alittle and he's curled up right next to me snoozing away. He stayed with me all afternoon up untill about 5 yesterday, and today I woke up with him cuddled up beside me. It's like he knows. My old cat Soxy was the same way, she always new when you were in pain. And she'd always jump up on the bed to come see you. For those out there with pets, it really is a comfort.
Anyways, that's why I disagree with the whole no soul policy. For a creature to show such compassion and caring for another proves to me that there is some sort of understanding. So for my kitten to stop fighting with my various limbs and hair, to quietly sleep beside me in some of my darkest hours as of late, says something. To me the message is simple, animals have souls.
Listen to Einstien Gators!
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