5 am...OCD....Swine Flu

So I drew this last night before I went to bed. It's called "Swine Flu: Originis." This I think how it really came to pass. Haha I love drawing, I can make whatever the hell I want!

The past few days I've been waking up at 5 am every morning. I'm really not sure why, it's this weird habit I've gotten into. Perhaps another look at sleeping pills is in order? I'd be okay with that. A sleeping pill is far from extreme medication.

And lastly...some head speak. I will admit that my hubby and I checked out A&E's show "Obssessed." We didn't watch the whole thing, and we were kind of weary to even look at it in the first place. The whole idea just seemed like a gong-show of sorts. But I'm glad we did. I think they handled the topic pretty respectfully. And the therapy sessions...acurate. That whole 1 -10 scale thing...the whole dileberatly putting yourself where you feel fearful. And yes Cognitive Behavioural Therapy actually works. I've done it myslef and can say I think it's one of the most successful treatments I've been a part of.

On a finishing thought on the topic I am looking forward to checking out next weeks episode. The have a woman on who seems to manifest the disorder the way I do. Bad thoughts. Thoughts of killing...and murder...and torture. These strange desires to do the unthinkable. Being obsessed with morbid ideas and fantasys. Not sure why the hell you have the needful feelings to do these things. Forced to grapple with the ideas and with the concept "what if I do that?" and "why the hell am I thinking this garbage?"

People don't really understand my OCD. They have a very narrow view of the term. To the vast majority it's all about numbers, counting, math, lists, etc. I don't really have those behaviours. I do have alittle quirk about walking on tilled floors, but most people don't even notice. And in fact, I rarely notice these days because it's been a habit since childhood. The clean list maker has a counter part who is equally OCD. The Hoarder. This is also where I sit. I am a apperingly messy person who seems to like to live in chaos. Ha, right actually I do. But to me it's not messy. I know where everything is...for the most part. If I don't then whatever, it's kicking around somewhere. I'll find it. I own 7 garbage bags full of shoes, some of which I've never worn. Haha that is OCD.

So ya just happy to see that they're showing other sides of the disorder. Because as with most metal illness they treat people differently. I find it interesting to see. Although I am in general intested in health and wellness. So ya, it's kind of up my ally.

Anyways enough for now. I'm starting to feel a rise of anger at a certain someone fairly random. I don't want to turn this post into a bitchfest ;)

Also check out My Farm - Around the World on DS. If you like games where you get to build and grow a project this ones for you. Lots of cute animals to boot!

Lator Gators!